Désir Diaries A bespoke sex, love & health blog
Sex education is usually something taught in schools, but no-one ever teaches you about the ins-and-outs of sex toy use. Enhance your repertoire with the class you never knew you skipped.
From using toys with specific sexual positions, to where on the body some sex toys can be used to heighten pleasure and desire – there is a lot that you don’t know about your adult companions. And who really has time for a ‘toy party’ these days where you can actually learn this stuff?
It’s better to learn in the comfort of your own home, where you can come to terms with your favourite items and the potential they invite into your bedroom. No need to get a group of friends together and pay for a sex toy ‘demo’ when you have us on your side.
In today’s post you get to learn about those sexy adult toys in a whole new light, without the embarrassment and awkward feelings that come after the class is over.
A Beginners Guide To Sex Toy Education
In the old days, sex was an uncomplicated process that was fairly straightforward. Fast forward 100 years and we are living in a golden age of sexual awakening that began in the 60s.
A decent sex education now means so much more than mastering the act itself. In fact, with the enormous range of fetishes, sex toys and kinks out there – many people are discovering that they know very little about the world of sex, even though they’ve been having it for years!
What you need is a solid educational foundation on sex toys and how they are being used in modern relationships. Believe us, it will blow your mind how much you don’t actually know.
Beginners Lesson #1: The Sex Shop Guy/Girl
It’s the modern era people! Sex toys are big business, and people that own these stores are eager to provide the public with a quality service. That’s why the man or woman that stands behind the counter is likely to be a walking tome of sex toy knowledge. Did you know that?
Many adult stores make their staff study up on sex education, especially as it relates to the products they sell. For beginners looking for some orientation, often the best possible person you can talk to is the person behind the counter at an adult toy store.
They usually know exactly which brands are body safe and healthy, and they can be invaluable resources if you are brave enough to strike up a conversation with them about your kink. Of course, some sex shops provide you with bad information, so be aware of that.
Luckily, our blog passes on unique information textually, so keep reading!
Beginners Lesson #2: Your Sexual Tastes Evolve
While sexual orientation is widely accepted as something that is innate, the same cannot be said for sexual tastes! Lots of studies have shown that a person’s sexual taste will change as they age, and are exposed to different things.
That means your sex education opportunities will never end, there will always be something new to learn. In your twenties you may love your vibrators, in your thirties and forties you may switch to enjoying dildos or ben wa balls instead.
Men may suddenly develop a curiosity for anal sex toys in their fifties – whatever happens it’s important to understand that your tastes can and will evolve.
Beginners Lesson #3: Toys Should Be Tested
Some women cannot get enough from their vibrators, while others hate how they feel. Some men swear that they will never try bondage, then have the best sex of their lives when they do. Only half of your sex education with toys can be learned theoretically.
If you are ever going to truly understand the potential of a sex toy, you need to try it out for yourself. Not once, not twice – consistently for a while in different situations. Who knows, you might discover a new talent with a toy that drives your partner wild.
Beginner’s toys include: Vibrators, dildos, costumes, fluffy handcuffs, sex games, feather ticklers and soft bondage gear made from satin.
An Intermediate Guide To Sex Toy Education
Different sex toys can be used in different creative ways, depending on what your level of sex education has taught you. For intermediate users who have done the obvious, it’s time to get imaginative and branch out with your favourite gear.
Intermediate Lesson #1: Sex Toys Enhance Fetish Play
Sure, a vibrator is wonderful for masturbation and couple’s play, but it can be so much more when combined with fetish games. This type of sex education is about understanding a sex toy’s role in your kink, and how it can enhance the sexual experience for the two of you.
- Backdoor fetish? Introduce different size anal toys for extended foreplay
- In love with bondage? Invest in restraints that you can’t escape from…then use them
- Can’t get enough role play? Why not try distance control with a wearable vibrator
Intermediate Lesson #2: Sex Toys Are About Technique
The best sex education tip you will ever get about a sex toy, is that it takes time to learn the right technique with your partner. Focus on creating arousal before going in for direct stimulation, and spend time understanding how your significant other’s body responds to technique in certain areas.
Sex education technique refers to location, pressure, massage, thrusting and teasing – how you order these experiences to create powerful arousal or pleasure with your partner. The aim is not to get them to orgasm, but rather to keep them on the brink of it during foreplay.
For more sex toy tips check out Dr Pam Spurr’s post in The Sun.
Intermediate toys include: Stronger bondage gear, larger or more realistic vibrators & dildos, restraints that secure, app-based sex toys and anal plugs.
An Advanced Guide To Sex Toy Education
By the time you have become an advanced user of sex toys, your sex education has gone in a very specific direction – towards the kinks and practices that you like best. Within this realm you need to decide how far you will take your sexual games, and establish the lines you will not cross.
Advanced Lesson #1: Sex and The Sex Toy
At this point, you can begin to discover how sex toys can enhance sex itself, by trying out different positions with your favourite sex toys. Your sex education will come in handy, as you couple your best positions with the toys you enjoy the most.
- With her on top, a cock ring will keep him going and increase her chance of having multiple orgasms
- With him on top, a small vibrating clitoral stimulator will give her the additional vibrations she needs
- Bullet vibrators or finger vibrators are great for oral sex, and touching on specific spots that will enhance your oral play
- Sex while wearing a buttplug is best done when the wearer is on their back or sitting down
- Shower or bath sex can be enhanced with a host of waterproof sex toys
It’s up to you to discover which sexual positions will match your sex toy techniques, as you use them moving from position to position. Try new things and don’t be afraid of a challenge.
Get more sex education with Cosmo’s guide to sex positions and kama sutra.
True Education Begins Now
When you begin learning about the various ways to use your sexy adult toys with various foreplay methods and sexual positions, you will realize that true education is about self-knowledge and a continuous discovery of what your partner wants in the moment, and enjoys in general.
- Keep a sex toy journal and record what you like
- Make notes for yourself on which areas to explore in greater detail
- Every now and then try something completely out of your comfort zone
Owning sex toys is not enough anymore – there is no point being shy to use them, or coy about what you want. A couple that embarks on a sexual journey and does it with their favourite sex toys and fetish gear, will find themselves more fulfilled than they ever dreamed possible.
As always your sexual experiences should be deliberate, passionate and not rushed. If your goal is only to orgasm, you can achieve that goal very quickly, but it takes total mastery to learn the sex education required to please your partner – and yourself – for hours.
The next time you wonder, where can I learn about adult toys? The answer is with your partner behind closed doors. Posts like this one will give you some insight, but ultimately you have to learn the other 50% by doing it. Practical knowledge is something we all have to learn – and what better excuse to stay in for the weekend than to master a new sex toy?
Keep growing your knowledge on sex and sex toys with our post on these 9 ways sex gear for bondage has failed during use!
What Do You Think?
Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it edifying! In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you. Which sex toy do you think is the most complicated to master? Tell us below and we may write a post about it.
Be bold, and leave your comment below.
