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Désir Diaries / Sex Toy Guide / How To Easily Choose Your First Adult Sex Toys

How To Easily Choose Your First Adult Sex Toys

Adult sex toys come in a huge variety of shapes, sizes and functions. This post will teach you how to choose your first toys like an educated pro, according to your desires, needs and budget.

Choose your first toys like an educated pro

You never forget your first time. And unlike your first time having sex, your first real experience with sex toys can be everything you ever dreamed it could be, and more!

Adult toys have come a long way over the last 30 years. Materials are stronger, safer and more durable – and batteries don’t die on you every 3 seconds. You are fortunate enough to be living in what we like to call ‘the golden age of sexual exploration’ thanks to technological advancement.

Even if you have tried a couple of sex toys before, and have decided to move onto something a bit more personal – something you own yourself – you are taking the next big step on your journey to sexual fulfilment, honesty and adventure.

Beginner’s adult sex toys will ease you into the world of unexplored desire. Welcome to honouring yourself!

Buying Adult Toys: What You Should Know

Sex toys are as varied and multifaceted as the brands that create them. It’s not true that all toys are tacky, cheap and uncomfortable, just like it’s not true that all toys are soft, luxury, top-of-the-range items. We like to think of the toy buying experience as similar to buying a fine bottle of wine.

You may have to try out a few flavours that don’t suit your palette, but eventually you will discover a range that you can’t get enough of! This is when you can refine your tastes.

South Africans love their adult sex toys, a fact that was proven in a recent survey by Statisticbrain citing SA as the third highest number of Google searches for sex toys in the world.

Buying adult toys has long been taboo, but it’s clear that in SA – people don’t like to talk about the games they play in the bedroom. But there are many benefits to regularly using these toys that cannot be taken for granted.

Toys For Men

Sex toys for men have offered regular users sexual health benefits that genuinely improve their lives. While these toys are still considered mainly ‘for women’ a large portion of the male population are frequent users.

  • According to Samantha Evans of Jodivine.com, prostate massage with adult sex toys – either externally via the perineum or internally through the anal stimulation is very healthy. It can prolong and intensify the male orgasm and reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

Sex toys like vibrators, butt plugs and anal beads also reduce stress, ease the symptoms of haemorrhoids, improve sleep quality and empower sexual relationships.

Toys For Women

Sex toys for women are similar in that they drastically improve the health, drive and vitality of regular users. Female sex toys have become a kind of art form, where performance, feel and luxury are prized.

  • The medical benefits for women using quality adult sex toys have been well documented. Sex toys can improve endorphin levels, strengthen pelvic floor muscles, reduce stress, increase blood circulation, promote sex drive and lead to better sexual health overall.

Toys like vibrators, dildos and kegel exercisers are among the best choices for modern women, who want to prevent vaginal atrophy and continue enjoying a dynamic sex life.

Toys For Couples

Sex toys for couples do a lot more than provide ongoing health benefits. In today’s world of fast-paced living, relationships struggle to maintain their spark. These toys make sexual effort easy, creative and fun!

  • Couples that play with adult sex toys together stay together. Nearly half of all men and women use sex toys and they have better sexual function and are happier in their chosen relationships, according to Project Happily Ever After.

A Closer Look At Your Budget

It’s true that no two brands of sex toy are created equally.

There is a direct connection between your budget and the quality of toy you will be able to afford. In this niche, the more you spend – the better the outcome. Things only get choppy when you have to decide between prominent brands.

Budget and the quality of a sex toy

Most luxury adult sex toys are fairly reliable after you exceed a certain quality and cost threshold. Then it comes down to specifications and performance, and this is where toys vary. Cheaper sex toys, in my humble opinion, do not have to mean lower quality toys.

If you only have a budget of R500.00, and you want a vibrator – better to buy a high quality, smaller external clitoral vibrator than a cheap, low quality Rabbit vibrator that will break and feel horrible.

The Sexual Flavour: Begin With What Turns You On

The best way to choose your first set of adult sex toys is to either identify the sexual niche, fetish or kink that attracts you, or to consider the main reason why you are purchasing a specific kind of toy.

Begin With What Turns You On

Niche Selection: Light bondage, roleplaying, BDSM, anal play – you get the picture.
Performance Orientated: Masturbation, foreplay enhancement, couple’s sex or travel?

Let’s take a brief look at the various niche options:

  • Vibrators include all toys that vibrate – for internal & external vaginal pleasure and anal stimulation. Great for powerful orgasms.
  • Bondage includes all BDSM-centric gear for power play – whips, restraints, blindfolds, tickers and clamps. Ideal for tease & denial.
  • Dildos include all realistic and non-realistic adult sex toys that are not motorised. Perfect for internal vaginal and anal pleasure.
  • Cock Rings include all toys that can be fitted around the penis to keep it aroused. Excellent for longer sex sessions.
  • Anal Sex Toys include all items that are made specifically for anal stimulation like plugs and beads. Brilliant for enhanced arousal and orgasms during foreplay.
  • Sensual Massage is a type of romantic sex play that can include lubricants, bath accompaniments and waxes. Awesome for creating intimacy in your relationship.

The Final 3: Choosing Between 3 Adult Toys

Once you have taken budget, niche and performance into account, pick out the 3 toys online that most appeal to you. These chosen adult sex toys need to be examined in much greater detail.

The first thing you will do is read the specifications for each item. Take special note of these categories and compare them against your chosen 3.

  • The material or feel of the toy
  • The size including height, width, girth and circumference
  • The battery size for length of use
  • The motor details for power and speed
  • Whether the toy is compatible with a harness

For an excellent post on sex toy safety, Caitlin Murphy from Kinkly.com explores how materials used in these toys impacts your long term sexual health.

Sometimes you will find that slightly more expensive adult sex toys have way better specs than cheaper, more attractive looking toys. Always go for performance in this instance!

Choosing toys for sex can be hard with a large range

Making The Final Decision On Your First Sex Toy

You’re not done yet! Now you understand the differences between your final 3 on a technical level. But do the brands that manufacture these unique adult sex toys deliver on their promises?

The only way to really find out is to conduct a general review search online.

Check the brand website for quality testimonials or the online retailer you intend to buy from. After that have a look on YouTube to see if there are any personal reviews. Sometimes you can be surprised by what you hear – this is a very valuable step in the purchasing process.

We are often asked, “where can I buy beginners sex toys for adults? And “does it matter where I buy them from?” The answer is a resounding yes! There are very few luxury stores like ours that have a product range that is 100% vetted, body safe and free of toxic materials. Be careful who you trust.

If you use this easy process, you are more likely to find the adult sex toys that you want. Don’t be blinded by fancy pictures, specials or prices. Always do your research and you can’t go wrong.

What Do You Think?

Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it helpful. In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you! What problems do you face when choosing new sex toys? You can leave us a message on our contact us page or your can leave a comment below. We would really appreciate your feedback and input.

About Désir Intimate Collection


Désir Intimate Collection is South Africa’s most exclusive online store, devoted to giving our clientele private access to the finest designer brands on the intimate luxury market. Headquartered in Camps Bay, Cape Town, Désir Online has one main goal – to help our customers find stronger intimacy, form closer relationships and build passionate love lives by dispelling the myths and social stigmas that prevent people from sensual exploration & expression.

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