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Désir Diaries / Sex Toy Guide / How To Choose The Ideal Ben Wa Balls For Men

How To Choose The Ideal Ben Wa Balls For Men

Ben wa balls were created as women’s kegel exercisers, but men have been using them for anal play. In this post we explore how to safely use these balls or switch to better suited toys.

You know the story. Your girlfriend or wife heard about these great kegel exercisers, so she bought some and used them for a while. Then she would not shut up about how awesome they were! Everything about sex got better – she was more aroused, more in-tune with you and it felt amazing!

Inevitably, you started to wonder what they would feel like during anal play. And why not? Many sets of these exercisers look almost the same as anal beads. The thing is, they are not anal beads even though they look like them. Then you looked online and a startling truth was revealed.

Never, and I mean never, try to use even one of the best ben wa ball sets for anal play! At least, that’s what the experts say. But behind closed doors women and men use kegel exercisers in anal play all the time…and it’s not the safest thing in the world.

Ben Wa Ball sets for men cause confusion
Ben Wa Ball sets for men cause confusion.

In this tell-all post, we explore the hidden uses of ben wa balls and straighten a few things out!

The Long Denied History of The Ben Wa Ball

Ben wa balls are easy enough to understand – they are small, hollow weighted balls on a string that are traditionally inserted into the vagina. This was originally done in ancient Japan to improve the quality of sex for men, and add new sensations to the act during intercourse.

The balls would be slipped inside the woman’s vagina, and there would still be space enough for a man’s penis. The balls then roll around during sex, providing heightened arousal and sensations for both people. This sex toy can still be used this way, depending on personal size restrictions.

In later years, medical benefits came to light that transformed these balls into exercisers. Suddenly you could buy a sex toy for women that gave men increased pleasure and improved a woman’s pelvic floor muscles (the ones they use to hold the balls inside), which strengthened their orgasms.

Fast forward to today, and Fifty Shades of Grey exploded onto the scene bringing ben wa balls back into public discussion. More women dashed out and bought them than ever before. And of course, men came into contact with them more often too.

Ben Wa toys can sometimes lead to the emergency room
Ben Wa toys can sometimes lead to the emergency room.

The Safety Concerns Involved In Using These Toys

According to Dr Debby Herbenick of The Kinsey Institute for Sexual Health Information, it is never a good idea to put small round balls into your rectum – for very good reasons.

  1. A rectum is not the same as a vagina. Vagina’s end in the cervix wall so nothing can get lost up there. Ben wa balls inserted into a rectum can, and often do, get lost.
  2. The rectum is not only a very long tube leading to the bowel, it’s also S-shaped, so once something vanishes up there, it’s super difficult to get it out – and this always results in a very embarrassing visit to the emergency room. Not nice.

There are quite literally thousands of these incidences online, and no-one wants that to happen. But grey areas persist, even with the best ben wa ball sets, and we will tell you why.

  • Some ben wa balls are virtually indistinguishable from anal balls. The only real difference is that anal balls and chains come with handles that keep them from disappearing up there.
  • Even more confusing for the discerning man, is that some anal play toys don’t actually have sufficient handles, and even when they do – they can still get lost in the rectum. When you explore anal stimulation, unfortunately it’s always a risk that you take.

Men will be men, and many can and do regularly use ben wa balls in anal play. It’s important to note that because of the nature of these items, they should not be shared. Because of this, men who are into anal stimulation sometimes have their own sets of kegel trainers and balls.

These individuals are incredibly careful not to lose track of the balls during foreplay, for safety.

Ben Wa Balls can help with kegel exercise in men
Ben Wa Balls can help with kegel exercise in men.

The Argument For Kegel Exercises

It’s true that men benefit in similar ways to women when they do kegel exercises regularly. Ben wa balls help train pelvic floor muscles and that’s a fact.

According to sexual health writer Madeline R Vann, men can improve the strength of their pelvic floor which has been linked to many medical benefits – like an increase in erectile strength, improved bladder control and greater sexual health.

Some experts even claim that the stronger a man’s pelvic floor muscles the higher the chance they will have multiple orgasms and achieve perfect orgasm control. So, why are we not seeing thousands of men walking around wearing ben wa balls?

Lack of information on the subject may be a key differentiator. And of course, the stigma. It’s not unusual for women to put things into their vaginas, but the perception among men is still horribly antiquated. In fact, the only men that might enjoy this are those with an anal play fetish.

Kegel exercises can be done by men or women without any assistance from ben wa balls. But, if as a man you want to wear them take these very, very important precautions:

  • Only buy balls that have a looped string at the end. This string should then be used to loop the entire toy around your underwear, transforming it into a wearable handle to guarantee that your balls never get lost up your rectum.
  • If you can’t be bothered about the kegel benefits, then consider investing in a safer set of anal balls, an anal bead-shaped plug or a string of anal beads.

Choosing Safer Anal Toy Alternatives

Sex toys for men come in all shapes and sizes, many toys are used for purposes that they were never intended for. If you insist on buying yourself a set of ben wa balls for the bedroom and for kegel benefits follow these rules.

  • Only buy balls that are attached to a secured string handle.
  • Secure an additional handle onto the string to guarantee safety during foreplay.

It’s fun to experiment with vibrating beads and balls as long as it is done with safety in mind. If you don’t want to risk an emergency room visit – then eliminate the danger.

Alternative Anal Toys:

There are many other kinds of anal sex toys that are better suited to fetish anal play than ben wa balls are. But that said, if you insist on getting yourself your own set of kegel balls, take the necessary precautions!

Ben Wa Balls set for women
Ben Wa Balls set for women.

Ben Wa Toys For Your Girlfriend or Wife

Ben wa balls are a favourite of women everywhere. Many say that once you try them, you never go back. You might have landed on this post hoping for some information on ben wa’s for couples.

If that is the case, check out our post on choosing sex toys here.

Without vibration, your lover will need movement in order for the balls to give her pleasure. This can be achieved through foreplay or directly through sex with you. That way you get to enjoy the rolling sensation along with her. Achieving orgasm this way is an intensely special feeling.

If you are brave enough to use ben wa balls for anal play, then follow the safety precautions we have given you. Otherwise switch to toys that you can rely on for comfort and security. And if you are wondering: “What are the best toys for anal sex?” these are not them! There are far better toys for that in our couple’s range and they won’t land you in a doctor’s room.

Happy shopping!

For more great advice on men’s sex toys, check out our post on 10 beginner’s sex toys for men (anal beads included) here, or read up on the 5 astonishing reasons men want cock rings (no ben wa toys in this one, but good stuff on rings) here.

What Do You Think?

Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it helpful. In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you! Would you as a man ever consider using be wa balls for anal play? If not, which toys do you think work best in the anal niche? You can leave us a message on our adult shop contact us page or your can leave a comment below. We would really appreciate your feedback and input.

About Jade


I am the Operations Manager at Désir & feel so privileged to have been a part of this adventure from the very beginning, conceptualizing and building our amazing lingerie and sex toy ranges. Having a Diploma in Business Analysis my aim is to assist in the streamlining of processes, thereby ensuring maximum efficiency, remaining relevant by keeping up to date with trends, and producing statistical analysis in order to meet our consumer’s needs.

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