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How To Choose Bondage Sex Toys That you Want

Bondage sex toys are among the most playful and exciting toys that you can buy from an adult store. This post explores the types of toys that might appeal to your level of BDSM interest.

The practice of sexual slavery has been around for many years. Thanks to huge literature franchises like Fifty Shades of Grey, what was once a scary fringe fetish has now entered mainstream culture and become an exhilarating way of creating intense sexual experiences with your partner.

Today, modern bondage is considered a common practice, proving that the exploration of BDSM (bondage, discipline and sadomasochism) excites a lot of people. In fact, in a study conducted by Lelo, 80% of respondents said that they have tried BDSM and they loved it.

Extreme-bondage-between-man-and-woman-on-bed

The most prevalent acts included spanking, being tied up, being whipped and being gagged. Most of the respondents enjoyed switching roles from dominant to submissive while using bondage sex toys, which is the characteristic difference between those that embrace the bondage lifestyle and those that just want to play.

Let’s get you started on your bondage journey!

Step 1: Know Your Interest Level

Just because you find the idea of bondage sex toys kinky and appealing, does not mean that you will be into all forms of BDSM. There are many different types of interest levels, know yours!

  • I want to explore bondage for the first time, as a total beginner. I have no experience with any kind of power play and the heavy stuff freaks me out.
  • My partner and I have been doing Femdom (female domination) for some time, and I would like to expand my list of items so that we can have more things to play with.
  • I am part of BDSM culture and live the lifestyle. We go through a lot of toys and are looking for items that will add new dimensions to our evening sessions.

Reading these, you can quickly tell that each person has a different level of interest. The first wants to test the waters and do some light investigations into mild bondage. The second has only begun to venture into the more hardcore aspects of the dynamic, as an intermediate.

The last person here is a seasoned pro. All three have completely different ideas of what constitutes new, exciting bondage sex toys that they would enjoy. Which are you?

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Step 2: Know Your Materials

  • Beginners:

A beginner who wants to experience being dominated or forced to submit using bondage sex toys is more comfortable with soft, entry-level materials made from satin or soft leathers. This reduces the initial discomfort of being restrained, and makes it a less shocking, more pleasurable experience.

At the same time, beginner BDSM toys are often just for show. A pair of fluffy handcuffs is a lot of fun, but beginners have trouble accepting being locked up for real – so these always have latches. On the whole, items like paddles are padded to reduce pain and restraints are easily escapable.

Bondage sex toys like cock rings are also an exceptional choice for beginner play.

  • Intermediate:

An intermediate enthusiast already knows their role in these bedroom games and will often enjoy switching from one to the other. For more adventurous people who have found the flimsy materials for beginners unsatisfactory, the time comes to invest in stronger, sturdier bondage sex toys.

Whether femdom orientated or geared towards the male submissive, materials will expand into metals, harder ropes, lockable cuffs, more elaborate restraints and whips that have a lingering sting when used. Overall, intermediate users will engage in light and heavier bondage play.

  • Advanced:

An advanced enthusiast will already have an extensive range of bondage sex toys that they will add to often. Extreme bondage of this nature requires materials that are strong and will not break when tested. At this level the submissive is truly restrained and hands over total control.

Bedroom games will include a focus on the union of pleasure and pain with a variety of ways to inflict this using various toys and methods. Materials will be solid metals, hard leathers, and gear that allows for fringe play that easily crosses into the extreme sadomasochism realm.

  • You will enjoy adding these Closet Cuff door restraints to your collection, for stand up submission and play.
  • For bondage sex toys that won’t fail during play, try the tougher Tantra Sensua Whip (currently out of stock), where lashings vary from soft to stinging depending on the force applied.
  • Advanced bondage enthusiasts will love venturing into e-stim play, with the Tension Lover E-Stim Unit, which delivers low voltage electricity to excite your nerve endings.

Step 3: Know Your Game Preferences

Once you have a better understanding of your interest level and material needs, you will need to have a clear idea of the types of games that you prefer to play, so that you can choose the right bondage sex toys as you shop.

  • Some bondage enthusiasts love being restrained, but they have no interest in inflicting or feeling pain. This would eliminate a lot of potential sex toys from your bucket list.
  • BDSM goes along with a lot of other fetish plays. Keep yours in mind to build yourself a cabinet of toys that are sexually exciting for you and your lover.
  • Some bondage sex toys focus on teasing and forced pleasure. If you enjoy these sorts of games, traditional toys like vibrators, cock rings, dildos and plugs will work well with your ticklers, masks and blindfolds for sensory enhancement
  • Many extreme bondage plays involve training and discipline. These often involve forms of punishment, which is where your array of whips, paddles, handcuffs and ball gags come in.

Step 4: Investigate Bondage on an Academic Level

Why are you turned on by being bound to a bed and flogged? Why do you get hot and heavy at the thought of inflicting punishment on someone that you love? These are deep psychological questions.

Science has been trying to explain our sexual preferences for years. The bottom line is that no-one really knows why some things turn you on, and others don’t. But it’s always a good idea to investigate bondage on an academic level if you feel drawn to the practice.

Livescience published a post that cited a study proving that people who engage in bondage are healthier than their boring vanilla counterparts – so there are some great benefits!

Bondage sex toys can be used for more than straightforward BDSM play. They really give you the chance to cross into kinky sex, and explore the relationship of power that exists between you and your significant other. Learn, explore and pick up some exciting ideas along the way.

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Bondage In Its Purest Form: The Rules

Bondage on its own involves nothing more than the act of being restrained. The term is often confusing to people dipping their toes into the kink-pool for the first time. It’s rare that bondage doesn’t come with at least some elements of sadomasochism (like soft paddles) though.

Still the act of bondage does not necessarily imply that pain will be inflicted. It’s really up to you and the direction you want to go in. If you are new to the scene, then make sure that you talk to your partner about it before ordering a bunch of bondage sex toys.

Before engaging in any BDSM play, establish a safe word – something you could never possibly say without intentionally using those words. Once the safe word is used, all play must stop cold. It takes a lot of trust to get there, but a lot of couples find it to be an incredibly intense exchange.

Here are some important rules:

  • Always respect your partner and take responsibility for what happens or could happen
  • Take time after your session to give each other honest feedback
  • If you didn’t like something, make sure that you speak about it and ban it
  • Extreme trust is critical for all forms of bondage or it will not arouse you

It’s important to choose the bondage sex toys that you really want, so that you can move in the direction that your natural expression takes you in. Use these steps to find the toys that most appeal to you. Try to progress as a couple and be considerate of each other’s likes and dislikes.

Toys are never to blame for experiences, people are!

“Where can I find BDSM gear in South Africa?” you ask, right here on Désir. We cater for all bondage interest levels from beginner to advanced – the only limits are your imagination.

What Do You Think?

Thank you for reading our post, we hope you found it helpful. In the spirit of our mission we have one more thing to ask you! What is your favourite element of BDSM? Are you brave enough to tell us so that others will be too? You can leave us a message on our adult shop contact us page or your can leave a comment below. We would really appreciate your feedback and input.

About Jade

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I am the Operations Manager at Désir & feel so privileged to have been a part of this adventure from the very beginning, conceptualizing and building our amazing lingerie and sex toy ranges. Having a Diploma in Business Analysis my aim is to assist in the streamlining of processes, thereby ensuring maximum efficiency, remaining relevant by keeping up to date with trends, and producing statistical analysis in order to meet our consumer’s needs.

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