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Désir Diaries / Couple’s Play / What the Top 3 Sexual Fantasies Say about the Human Psyche

What the Top 3 Sexual Fantasies Say about the Human Psyche

What do sexual fantasies say about us as people? This post revels in the psychology of sexual imagination and what our most intimate desires say about being human in today’s society.

Some people have one or two, others have several. Studies agree, men are more likely to embrace these thoughts than women are. But everyone has them, and – clinically speaking – they have a very real impact on a person’s sex drive.

Sexual fantasy ignites and douses desire
Sexual fantasy ignites and douses desire

Today we take a candid look at the top 3 sexual fantasies that both men and women experience, and what this says about the human psyche.

First – the 3 rules of fantasy!

• Just because you have them, doesn’t mean you want to experience them in real life
• Good fantasies exists without inhibition or restriction, they are simply thoughts
• Fantasies can both enhance or inhibit sex drive, depending on what they are

Sexual Fantasy #1: Power Play is Enjoyed by Both Genders

According to a fascinating study by the University of Montreal, both men and women experience sexual fantasies about domination and submission. Some 65% of women fantasized about being submissive, and so did 53% of men.

At the same time, 60% of men fantasized about being dominant, and so did 46% of women. Power play as it relates to human psychology is littered with paradox, and these changeable roles in fantasy represent the desire to either feel out of control, or in control – depending on your drive.

These fantasies have a lot of different interpretations and can be intensely personal, but they tend to reflect excitement in playing out or reversing traditional gender roles, sometimes enabling the individual to imagine a total surrender, or total control scenario that stimulates desire.

Sexual Fantasy #2: Partner Swapping or Sleeping With Other People

As it turns out, the absence or presence of sexual guilt is a popular fantasy in the bedroom for both sexes. Many men and women enjoy sexual fantasies about sleeping with people who are not their spouses or lovers, for a variety of complex reasons.

Cheating on a spouse is a common fantasy
Cheating on a spouse is a common fantasy

Guilt is very ingrained in sexual sentiment, especially in developed society. But these fantasies shouldn’t cause shame, far from it. They are a healthy expression of the forbidden, which is a major driver of human behaviour. Sexually speaking, people want what they’re not allowed to have!

Sexual Fantasy #3: Sex in a Weird or Novel Location

One of the top sexual fantasies around today involves sex in different locations. Both genders have very specific fantasies about where sex might occur, and it’s never in the bedroom!

With 81.7% of surveyed women and 82.3% of men stating that they have these fantasies regularly, it’s safe to say people find the idea of novelty sexy. Psychologically speaking, this is because new experiences trick our brains into releasing happy hormones like serotonin. New is always better.

If you have any of these sexual fantasies, you are not alone!

They are extremely common and completely normal for both men and women across the globe. One thing is for sure, the human psyche loves contrasts, novelty and the forbidden.

Did any part of this post surprise you? Tell us about it below.

About Désir Intimate Collection


Désir Intimate Collection is South Africa’s most exclusive online store, devoted to giving our clientele private access to the finest designer brands on the intimate luxury market. Headquartered in Camps Bay, Cape Town, Désir Online has one main goal – to help our customers find stronger intimacy, form closer relationships and build passionate love lives by dispelling the myths and social stigmas that prevent people from sensual exploration & expression.

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